O is for Obedience

I've been blogging through the alphabet for a while now. You can read the rest of my A to Z homeschool posts here. Thank you for stopping by.

O is for Obedience

Obedience has become a battle ground in our home. IntelliGent is under the mistaken impression that he is in charge and has the final say in every decision. I'm not sure when this idea became lodged in his mind, but the fallout has not been pleasant.

Until recant weeks, IntelliGent has been a fairly easy two-year-old. Sure, we've had our share of tyrannical moments, but over all he has been sweet and obedient. I'm beginning to wonder if he didn't lull me into a false sense of security.

IntelliGent has started to use the word "no" with alarming frequency. After realizing a straight "no" did not produce the desired result, he modified to "no, thank you" thus reducing my words to a request that could be ignored. While I appreciate his attempts to be polite, I still expect him to obey and tell him such. Eventually he acquiesces.

Last week, I was preparing lunch while IntelliGent played with his train track. While spreading peanut butter across a slice of bread, I was interrupted with an engine being thrust into my hand. The following conversation ensued.

"You have very nice engines." I handed the train back to him. 

"Chase my engine around the track, Mommy." The engine is shoved toward me again, narrowly missing the glob of peanut butter on the knife. 

"Right now I'm making lunch. Maybe we can play trains together after we eat." 

"You want to play engines now." 

"No, thank you." I hand the engine back to him. 

"I appreciate you are trying to be sweet, but you need to obey. Say 'yes, IntelliGent' then we will play engines."

He's still confused on how this obedience thing works, but at least I know he's listening. Now to convince him that he is not in charge.

N is for Nap

We've now made it half way through the alphabet. You can read the rest of my A to Z posts here.

N is for Nap

With IntelliGent's third birthday looming on the horizon, we are transitioning into a new phase. Last week, he made it very clear he no longer needed his nap time. Little does he understand, I still need him to take a nap. Those two hours of silence daily was my chance to be me - and not Mommy - for a few moments.

With this change, we are reevaluating our schedule and routine. I still insist he take a rest period every day. Some days, despite his insistence that he's not tired, IntelliGent takes a nap. But most days, he just sits in bed and reads quietly for a while. He's discovered the joys of afternoon playtime after being released from bed after rest time.

As with IntelliGent's education, this transition has come sooner than I would have liked. And like his education, we are learning how to do this one day at a time.

A is for Attitude

Over the next several weeks, I will be blogging through the alphabet. It seems appropriate with this being a homeschool blog. I hope you'll join me on the journey from A to Z and leave a comment on the way.

A is for Attitude

IntelliGent is an only child. He believes the world revolves around him. In some ways he is right. Our day does revolve around his needs. If he needs a diaper change, everything stops to take care of the stinky bum. When he is tired, we stop and take a nap.

With no siblings, Dr. Dad and I are his playmates. He loves the attention, but it is becoming increasingly clear that IntelliGent does not like to share. He doesn't want to share his toys and he doesn't want to share his playmates. Too often we've had to remind IntelliGent to be sweet when he tries to get between us as we hug. We have made him share toys with us, just so he understands he is not in control of the world.

These lessons are hard. His feelings get hurt. He whines and fusses, he screams and throws a fit. And then we correct the attitude. Sometimes it involves sitting in a chair, or on his bed, until he calms down.

Some days, "be sweet" are repeated every five minutes. I wonder if he is even listening.

IntelliGent is a perfectionist. Nothing is more frustrating to him than things not working like he thinks they should. His perfectionism means we can go from calm to screaming in a moment. Usually the offending toy is flung across the room in the process. These angry outburst have been a huge source of concern for Dr. Dad and I as we try to help IntelliGent learn to regulate his emotions.

Being perfect is stressful, I understand that. I was an oldest child with perfectionistic tendencies. I would rather not do something than face the prospect of failing. It is hard to see those traits magnified in my son. How can I help him with his attitude, when I constantly have to check my own?

Some days, "be sweet" is my mantra. Not just for him, but for me as well.

IntelliGent is getting it. With all the harping we do about being sweet and obeying from the heart, it is sometimes hard to know if IntelliGent is even listening. Then I hear him instructing MagnifiCat. "You have to be sweet. Now say, 'sorry for bumping the tower over.'" Apology accepted. A gentle hand pats MagnifiCat's dark fur.

It does my mommy heart good to see him living out the instruction he's been given. Are we done with attitude problems? No, but at least I know the idea is working inside of him. He really is a sweet boy, when he wants to be.