A is for Attitude

Over the next several weeks, I will be blogging through the alphabet. It seems appropriate with this being a homeschool blog. I hope you'll join me on the journey from A to Z and leave a comment on the way.

A is for Attitude

IntelliGent is an only child. He believes the world revolves around him. In some ways he is right. Our day does revolve around his needs. If he needs a diaper change, everything stops to take care of the stinky bum. When he is tired, we stop and take a nap.

With no siblings, Dr. Dad and I are his playmates. He loves the attention, but it is becoming increasingly clear that IntelliGent does not like to share. He doesn't want to share his toys and he doesn't want to share his playmates. Too often we've had to remind IntelliGent to be sweet when he tries to get between us as we hug. We have made him share toys with us, just so he understands he is not in control of the world.

These lessons are hard. His feelings get hurt. He whines and fusses, he screams and throws a fit. And then we correct the attitude. Sometimes it involves sitting in a chair, or on his bed, until he calms down.

Some days, "be sweet" are repeated every five minutes. I wonder if he is even listening.

IntelliGent is a perfectionist. Nothing is more frustrating to him than things not working like he thinks they should. His perfectionism means we can go from calm to screaming in a moment. Usually the offending toy is flung across the room in the process. These angry outburst have been a huge source of concern for Dr. Dad and I as we try to help IntelliGent learn to regulate his emotions.

Being perfect is stressful, I understand that. I was an oldest child with perfectionistic tendencies. I would rather not do something than face the prospect of failing. It is hard to see those traits magnified in my son. How can I help him with his attitude, when I constantly have to check my own?

Some days, "be sweet" is my mantra. Not just for him, but for me as well.

IntelliGent is getting it. With all the harping we do about being sweet and obeying from the heart, it is sometimes hard to know if IntelliGent is even listening. Then I hear him instructing MagnifiCat. "You have to be sweet. Now say, 'sorry for bumping the tower over.'" Apology accepted. A gentle hand pats MagnifiCat's dark fur.

It does my mommy heart good to see him living out the instruction he's been given. Are we done with attitude problems? No, but at least I know the idea is working inside of him. He really is a sweet boy, when he wants to be.